How to find your personal style…
and what to do when you realize it’s time for a change.
In my early 20’s (undergrad, graduate, and the first couple years post), I used to be known as the girl who never wore jeans. I think I might have owned a pair or two just in case a need ever arose for them, but I don’t remember them coming out of my closet for many occasions at all during that 5 and a half year period.
At that time, I was intensely focused on becoming a #girlboss in the fashion industry and I didn’t recall any of my heroes wearing them.
This was long before sneakers and dresses were a staple look, business casual didn’t yet rule the dress code, and there certainly wasn’t anyone working from home in sweatpants. It was meetings, and networking events, and the time and place where you wore heels everyday and kept a pair of flats under your desk for when the real work had to be done- a la The Devil Wears Prada. I was reflecting the image of myself that I wanted to portray to the world, and it worked. I was often complimented by professors, peers and bosses on my always polished and put together ensembles. I felt confident in how I looked, and that confidence bled over into how I carried myself and interacted with people.
Fashion changed (as it always does) and I changed as well. I remember putting on my first pair of white converses (borrowed from my little sister on a trip to visit her on the West Coast) and I felt instantly COOL. I immediately bought a pair of my own to wear on the weekends-with dresses now of course- and they slowly started creeping into my casual Friday office looks. Before I knew it, they were a part of my identity- a look back at an instagram bio even listed them alongside my signature red lipstick I had always worn (Black coffee, red lipstick, white chucks…. how cool was I… ) What was also happening alongside this more casual turn in my personal style was a growing attachment to the slightly grungy artist neighborhood and mill building loft we had moved into, and some fleeting thoughts that maybe climbing the corporate ladder wasn’t what I really ultimately wanted for myself.
There was also the phase of my personal style where I briefly only wore the color black (haven’t we all experimented with that at some point?) the preppy Abercrombie polo stage (I think a large portion of us all went through that as well), and most recently the “the bigger the clothes the closer to God” persona that I attribute to the ever-iconic Phoebe Philo and my husband likes to call my Michelin Man looks.
What I’m trying to get at with all of this is what we wear (at it’s best) should reflect who we are-and that is ever changing of course. For me it was never about trying to dress like someone else or be some person I wasn’t- it was about feeling confident in who I was and wanted to be at the time. When you start to outgrow that self it’s always a little uncomfortable. I held onto my large collection of business-Ashlyn pencil skirts and heels for YEARS.. long after I’d decided I wouldn’t be returning to any offices that required that type of attire. I also still remember how I felt wearing those white converse on the beach for the first time. Slipping into those unknowingly helped cement some subconscious realization about the girl I was becoming- a little more laid back, a little less “company first,” and a lot more experimental with her looks.
My only piece of advice about honing in on what your personal style is is this- think about who you are, what you’re drawn to, and most importantly pay attention to how you FEEL when you put something on.
That’s how you’ll figure out what pieces/looks/styles feel like a reflection of who you are and what you want to put out into the world. The by-product is confidence. And what to do when you feel like YOU are changing? Change up your look. It’s OK to try new things- you might just find that it’s time for a new you. Move the pencil skirts to the back of the closet for a while. They’ll still be there if you ever decide you need them again.
Ashlyn Greer
