Fashion Advice from my Mother
My mother has always managed to command a room. Call it luck, call it spark, call it that je-ne- sais-quoi — she would just call it her outfit. From learning how to navigate a clothing rack, to identifying fabrics and how they fall on a frame, everything I know and love about style and fashion, I credit to the woman I call “mom.”
It seems silly, I know, with everything going on in the world, to go on about fashion advice. Yet in a country that constantly overlooks and dismisses women, especially women of color, fashion was and still is my mom’s way of reminding people that she is here. Whenever she felt insecure about her English, she let her outfit speak for her. Even if she had nothing to say, her style was a way of letting people know she, Gina Vasquez, was not one to be messed with (and God forbid you try and mess with her children). Colors could symbolize beliefs, and certain patterns could issue a challenge. Fashion could be used as an escape or a beacon, depending on her mood.
Though I would not always admit it growing up, I felt immense pride at the compliments my mom would receive for her outfits. It was a nice change from the racist jokes and jabs, intended or not. Other teenagers wished their parents would stop shopping for them; I was happy to let my mom take charge. I became known as the one with the fashionable parent.
Gina wasn’t like the other moms- she really was (and still is) the cool mom.
Of course, one is not raised by the Gina without learning a thing or two. In our household, Vogue Magazine and Seventeen were collected and treasured. Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model became after school rituals and it was not unheard of to pause a movie to get a better look at a character's outfit. Entire days were dedicated to shopping trips, each rack meticulously looked over to ensure nothing was missed. And to this day, if you ever have the blessed experience of shopping with my mom, here is the advice you will receive:
Take your time. My mother is anything but a spontaneous buyer. She spends hours looking at an item and days deciding whether or not it is worth the purchase. On average, she gives major pieces a three month window — the same amount of time she claims is needed to vet a potential romantic partner. Because the more time you give yourself to meditate on something, the more you understand yourself and what you actually want.
It can’t hurt to try. Sometimes what looks odd on a hanger looks incredible on you. Sure, it might not be your usual style — it might not even be currently in-style — but the moment you try it on you end up having a wardrobe revelation in the fitting room. The point is, you will never know the possibilities unless you give the seemingly impossible a shot.
Age is a number, not a prison. One thing my mother loathed was being confined to the outfits she would refer to as “stuffy” or “old” just because she was a grown woman with children. Some of this had to do with the fact that my mom is a very tiny person. None of the clothing in those styles fit her anyways so it was a waste of time to try and conform. Top it off with the fact that my mom likes colors and patterns and details — things the industry (at the time) seemed to reserve for the young and single only. So my mom rebelled. And she continues to rebel. If you like it, wear it, age be damned and skin be blessed.
The older I get, the more I realize my mom’s fashion advice was really a way to remind herself to love who she was, who she is, and who she was becoming in a world that didn’t always feel the same way. Fashion, for Gina, was and is a tool to be used, not just a trend to blindly follow. It is a small but effective way to remind oneself and others that you are here, you exist, and above all else, you are a force to be reckoned with.
Caeli Faisst
Caeli (chaylee) is a freelance writer & poet casually chilling in the city of Charlotte. Her work has appeared in Broccoli Magazine, YouVersion, & Carolina Muse to name a few. When she is not writing, one can find Caeli enjoying the outdoor seating of local coffee shops, perusing through web comics, or museum hopping with friends.
